This one had quite a significant affect on me. I've really been struggling to cope emotionally recently. It's not really so much the disease that's been getting me down - though of course that's always a factor. It's more everything surrounding it. All the battles over healthcare, benefits, rights. All the prejudice, ignorance and hatred towards us. The way the system just doesn't 'fit' to our needs, and how much sicker that can end up making us. (Example, no GP home visits despite being bedbound) Hope can sometimes be extremely elusive when you're stuck in the middle of all that, at the same time as dealing with the daily pain of being seriously ill, and everything that brings.
Daisy, I'm sure, has as many bad days as me. I'm sure she has times where she just can't find the will to fight for hope. But like I have again and again during the course of my illness, she eventually fights her way back. In this video, created for the 'Britain in a Day' BBC project, she talks about finding a way to find happiness & beauty inside of this horrible, difficult bubble we live in. Coming from someone so young, (17) that almost makes an even stronger impact than it would from an adult. And she's right ... it really does come down to finding that 'do or die' attitude, to working our butts off to find what small happinesses and controls that we possibly can in our daily lives. And to not let all our possible futures cloud the present too much. I need to re-learn that ... and I sort of feel like this (and a couple of other things that have happened lately - see my last post, 'Can we Transform Pain & Despair into Beauty') are maybe a turning point to drag myself back up to a place of coping.
So, here's Daisy's video. Share on, wherever and with whoever you can!!!
But living a life of regret would have kept me looking backwards, rather than forwards. Hope is forward leaning. It’s the ripple of energy that trusts there are resources enough to live into the future. I had to focus on what I could do, not what I could not.
~ Julie Neraas ~