Showing posts with label postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. Show all posts

Saturday, 15 October 2011

The Law of Sod!

Somehow it came as no surprise to me when I was being hooked up for my Tilt Table Test on Friday, that the computer decided it wasn't going to play nice, and the test had to be cancelled! I seem to attract this kind of incident on a regular basis, for some reason or another, lol!!!

The Life Cycle According to Sod's Law


So, the upshot is that I have to go back to the hospital again, at the end of November, meaning another appointment to deal with in amongst all the others I have between now and Christmas. Blah. I feel kind of upset about it to be honest - but what can you do?? Crap happens and you just have to deal with it when it does!

The rest of the tests went ok - had the echo (boobs flapping in the wind wasn't my idea of fun any more than the tilt table test is going to be, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do) and they fitted me for the 24 hour holter test, which was fine except my silly sensitive skin reacted to the electrodes and by the time I removed them today, I was covered in blisters and welts. Nice. :p

The going out of it all was the rough part. Seems like every appointment I go to, it's getting harder and harder to maintain the energy I need, and taking more time to recover afterwards. It's nothing I didn't expect but that doesn't make it nice to live through. This one was especially hard though. I was picked up by ambulance and rode to the hospital (and into the clinic) on a stretcher, which was great for obvious reasons. During the appointment however they had me sitting up for quite some time while they tried to fix the equipment. I was too wussy to object and they had chucked Anna out of the room (it's their policy not to allow visitors in the room while they do Tilt Table Tests just in case something goes wrong and they have to resuscitate you.) so she couldn't advocate for me. (That turned out to be quite a problem because when my neuro symptoms kicked in because I was sitting and getting exhausted, I kept forgetting words and my train of thought. Had Anna been in the room she could have communicated for me. I think when I go back I need to insist on her being in the room for that reason because I know when I am standing on the table it's only going to get more and more difficult to communicate!!!) Anyway, I was just about coping and I did eventually ask to lie down.

Unfortunately though, the clinic appeared not to know what to do with me once the apppointment was finished. A porter took me to the ambulance pick up station on a wheelchair and left me there. Apparently what should have happened is I should have stayed at the clinic on a stretcher/bed and waited for the ambulance guys to come back and pick me up. Instead what happened was I was left there, sitting up for over an hour before the ambulance finally arrived. By that point I could barely talk, had had to put my eye mask on because I couldn't deal with the light anymore, even with my shades on (you have NO idea how vulnerable and how embarrassing that is to do in public!!!), I was in so much pain I was near tears (VERY unusual for me), I was shaking like a leaf, and they had to all but lift me onto the stretcher to get me into the ambulance!!

All in all, a pretty horrible experience and not one I want to repeat! I'm going to have to get better at sticking up for my own needs and not letting anyone put me in a position I can't physically handle! I think before I go back in November, I'm going to ask Anna to call them and arrange in advance that I stay at the clinic until the ambulance comes for me with a stretcher, and insist nicely that she be allowed to be with me in the room while I have the test, to communicate for me. I know I'm getting better at meeting my own needs, but I still really struggle with asking other people too as well. I guess that old adage about Doctor's and Nurse's making the worst patients must be true, lol!



Please note : This post is an update to my previous post, Terrifying Tilt Table Test Tomorrow!

Susannah's Signature
I'd love to hear your reply and I know it'll be valued by other readers too! I always try to respond, please just be aware that it can take me some time to find the energy to do so as I've been particularly ill recently and struggling to get online. Thanks for reading! :)


Share/Bookmark

Thursday, 13 October 2011

Terrifying Tilt Table Test Tomorrow!

Like my alliteration? ;) Lol - I know, I know - so sad! Heh. Ok, on to the serious stuff.......

I'm really getting nervous about the Tilt Table Test tomorrow!!!! It's kind of ironic really that I'm afraid it will be a horrible, painful, exhausting process and that my results will be strongly indicative of POTS ; but equally, scared that all the results will be perfectly normal and they'll say I'm absolutely fine!

It's the default thought pattern I go to with things like this. From what I've read on other blogs in the ME & Dysautonomia community, it seems to be fairly normal for us to feel that way - and it makes sense if you think about it. Our medical histories are splattered with complex symptomology, doctors who didn't understand or believe us, and tests with normal or borderline results. (In main because they generally don't give us the right tests, particularly in the UK where doctors are actually taught not to order medical tests for their ME patients!!) So our default feelings about such things are fear and trepidation that once again we won't be believed - no matter how much we know we are extremely ill and really need help. In this specific case, I am as certain as I can be that I have POTS, because a) my symptoms so obviously match up, and b) the poor man's tilt table test showed very obvious results that could only really mean POTS so far as I'm aware. But I still don't trust the hands of doctors, after so many years of facing ignorance and prejudice. And in all honesty, I can't say I blame me!!

Can I just hide instead of going, tomorrow???

Can I hide instead of going to my Tilt Table Test tomorrow??? Image by Annemarie Vriends
photo by Annemarie Vriends via PhotoRee


I'm so worried that not only will this tilt table be a massive physical challenge, but also that it will trigger my abuse issues while it's at it!! Being so out of control, strapped to a table, is not my idea of fun, put it that way! (Though I believe my arms will be free, thank god!!! Being completely pinned down and totally vulnerable would be too much!) I'm also so relieved that Anna will be there with me - I don't think I could handle it alone, and I hope she knows how grateful I am that she's taking a day off uni, where she's only just begun her PhD two weeks ago! Another plus is that we were able to organise an ambulance transport for tomorrow, so hopefully that will make things easier.

Tilt Table Test - not my idea of fun! - Oh the drama!!


Sigh. Anyway - just a teeny tiny post this time (well, by my rambling standards anyway, lol!!) as I'm not having a great week. I had to come off the salt tablets because the side affects were just getting worse and worse, and well, I guess they were helping to some extent, because I've been pretty much floored for several days now. I'm going to try to get some advise about it when I'm at the clinic tomorrow, though I'm not scheduled for an actual consultation with any of the doctors while I'm there - at least, not to my knowledge.

I hope you're all doing ok, and looking after yourselves. I know so many of us have been affected over the last couple of weeks both by the death of Amberlin Wu, who was a big part of this community and friend to many of my friends, though I didn't know her very well myself - and by everything going on at the Whittemore Peterson Institute. It's really been a horrible time, and I'm thinking of you all. x ♡ x



Update : 16th Oct
I didn't have the tilt table test in the end, because their computer decided it wasn't going to play nice and wouldn't work. I posted an update here : The Law of Sod!

Susannah's Signature
I'd love to hear your reply and I know it'll be valued by other readers too! I always try to respond, please just be aware that it can take me some time to find the energy to do so as I've been particularly ill recently and struggling to get online. Thanks for reading! :)


Share/Bookmark

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Challenges Ahead!!

Yikes!!! A whole month since my last blog! No apologies - that would be too much of a cliché, ha! Just an explanation ....! The gynaecology appointment a month ago really took it out of me, and between the affects of that, and the need to rest up because I had the cardiology appointment coming up too, I had little choice but to stay more or less offline. I've now had my first cardio appointment, which went ok, I think - but again, the after affects haven't been very nice. My eyes / light intolerance have stepped up a notch and I'm having to wear a mask for at least several hours a day, and the rest of the time I spend in dimmed lighting. My pain levels are pretty bad too, and now not only do my feet go grey and blue when I'm upright, but my legs go grey right up to half way up my thigh!! Kind of scary to be honest. I've really wanted to update you guys on how things are going, so I'm basically going to post the note I posted on Facebook after my appointment, with some additions I've been working on a little at a time ever since. Sorry, no pretty pictures today, and apologies in advance for all the long sentences! I'm just too tired to make it read more easily.


Ok, so - here's the story....


I saw the registrar (the consultant was really ill with a virus he didn't want to give me, so he just popped in to intro himself then left it to the reg to do the work, lol. I thought that was quite nice of him to be honest. Both the doctors and the nurse who sat in were really lovely, so that helped an awful lot with my nerves! I was so worried that my M.E. diagnosis would cause them to not hear anything I had to say without prejudice. I can't be sure, but I think maybe it was ok - the registrar said that he had a friend with M.E. so maybe that went in my favour!?!

Unfortunately the clinic didn't give me somewhere to lie down when I got there, and I was dumped in a busy waiting room with noise and lights and craziness. Not a good start. I was sitting for so long that by the time they took my blood pressure and pulse, they'd sort of plateaued out and weren't too bad (I don't know about others with Orthostatic Intolerance, but after a couple of hours my blood pressure seems to adapt, though the blood pooling is often still there) and there isn't time in one short appointment to keep me standing for longer than a couple of minutes to take readings. He seemed to take my own recordings at face value though. (he could easily have decided i was either mad or a faker, so...!)

The outcome of the appointment was that he's ordering a tilt table test (Which I'm honestly seriously scared of even though I know it has to be done. It's not just the physical strain of it, but also, I think it's going to be quite triggering being strapped to a table with little or no control - brings up some abuse issues. Blah!) and a 24 hour holter monitoring. Not sure when those will be done - but he's not left me with nothing in the meantime. He's prescribed insane amounts of sodium chloride (Sustained release tablets, 600mg, TWO tablets FOUR x a day - yikes! - Apart from anything else, how on earth will I remember that/fit it in??!!!?? Lol, I can barely remember to take meds 3 times a day, and that's with multiple alarms set on my phone, without which I'd be screwed!!) and said to continue drinking a minimum of 3L of water per day. It's a really high dose of salt that they've prescribed, but because I know it can be tough on your body, I decided to stagger it, starting on a lower dose and gradually increasing. I'm relieved they wanted to start some treatment straight away though, (and I know salt is basically the first line treatment in many clinics, so I was prepared for that) because knowing the NHS it may take a while to get the tilt table sorted. I suppose there's even a chance I could have improved a fair bit by the time I get it. I guess that would be a little annoying because if the tilt table test shows nothing interesting, can they even diagnose me??? But then, that would mean the treatment is working, and I guess that's the most important thing anyway, right? Hey - a girl can hope! ;)


The aftermath hasn't been pleasant, as I said ... and I think it's been worse than after my gynae appointment (not surprising considering a) I was looked after better at that clinic, put somewhere quiet and dark to lie down while I was waiting, and b) I had been still recovering from the first appointment!) but I do feel relieved to have finally seen a cardiologist - sheesh, it's taken long enough!!!!!!!! (I've only been having these symptoms in varying severities for 15 years HA!)

The next few months are going to continue to be challenging, to say the least. I have another gynae appointment this month. My Disability Living Allowance re-assessment forms have arrived, sigh, so I'm going to have to have appointments with an advocate to fill in the forms - and unfortunately the one I normally see has just gone onto maternity leave so I have to be re-referred and have a new advocate assigned! (Mind you, I'm lucky the department is there at all, because last time I saw my advocate, their budget had been cut significantly and she was concerned they couldn't last much longer!) I'm pretty scared about the assessment, because it's hard enough to get through it even without the major shake up going on with the benefits system right now - huge amounts of people are being denied benefits on reassessment, and if I get the wrong assessor, or medic, I could be seriously stuffed!! I have zero trust in the system now, let alone the people actually working within it!

Then we're still fighting social services to try to get direct payments (to pay for Anna to care for me) - they're on the verge of making the crappy decision that I don't need Anna in particular to care for me, and because she lives in the same house, they will only give me money to get an agency carer - which would cause me more harm than good! My GP isn't helping my cause - my social worker has repeatedly contacted the surgery asking for information from her on my condition and how it affects me, but she hasn't bothered to reply!! (And this on top of the fact that she still hasn't organised the vitamin d regime or any of the countless other outstanding things - and we can't even get through to the local patient advocacy office on the phone!) Then of course there'll be the tilt table test at some point, and a cardio appointment on the 20th December, which basically sucks because Christmas is going to be a write off for me after that. Last year I barely made it through a few hours with family and the after affects were awful! An appointment right before that .... I'm not even sure if I'll cope with dinner with my family.


Frustrating!


I feel so overwhelmed by all this happening in such a short space of time, and I have no idea right now how I'm going to cope with it all. But really, I have no choice but to cope, so I'm just trying to take it literally one day at a time. I'll try to keep posting as and when I can - though that's going to be further complicated because I have to send my laptop back to the company I bought it from because it's all but died. I should be able to borrow my mum's sometimes but it's just that extra step that'll make it harder to get online. I just hope it can be sorted swiftly!!


I'd love it if any of you guys who haven't yet joined me on facebook would connect with me there too - that way I can keep in touch a little easier - just click the link on the right sidebar & send me a friend request with a note letting me know you came in through my blog. :)

I hope you're all doing ok - I've missed spending time with you all! xxx


Reader question about postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome treatments

Reader Question for People With POTS :

Which treatments have worked for you,
and which haven't??


Susannah's Signature
I'd love to hear your reply and I know it'll be valued by other readers too! I always try to respond, please just be aware that it can take me some time to find the energy to do so as I've been particularly ill recently and struggling to get online. Thanks for reading! :)


Share/Bookmark

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Cardiologists, PCOS and Vitamin D Deficiency

Hey everyone,

I wanted to let you know how things are going with my health right now, as there's quite a lot of things happening!!

I've been having increasingly worse issues with my blood pressure and tachycardias/palpitations recently and it had started to get me worried, plus it's limiting my mobility even more, and making me more tired ... so I started looking into it online when I was able to do some reading. My symptoms point to my probably having Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). Since I wasn't sure if I was just overreacting, I decided to do some tests on myself before talking to my doctor (it's not easy to get hold of her even on the phone). My dad has a small blood pressure machine, so I was able to do a 'Poor Man's Tilt Table Test' on myself.

Often a proper tilt table test will be done on someone where POTS is suspected. The test is generally done in hospitals and involves being strapped into a table and gradually raised, whilst monitoring your blood pressure to see if it changes dramatically when your posture changes. For most people, the body naturally copes with posture changes without it affecting blood pressure. For those with POTS, it doesn't, and the blood pressure rises, along with the heart rate. For people with ME, tilt table tests can be quite dangerous, hence why it's a better idea to do the 'poor man's version', which is basically taking your blood pressure after time spent in different positions (lying, sitting and standing) - There is information on this on Jodi Bassets Hummingbird site. If you go to the Testing for ME page, and click ctrl F to use your browsers search function and search for 'Tilt Table Examination', it describes the poor mans test in detail.

I really wouldn't advise doing this test without a doctor present - it was pretty gruelling to be honest ... but for me it was easier because my access to doctors is so difficult. I think over the last few months I've gotten more and more frustrated with the meagre level of care I've been getting for so many years, and becoming more and more desperately in need of help. It's got to the point where I know if I don't push to get what I need, in whatever way I'm able to, things won't ever change and I have no chance of things ever getting better, and a very high probability that they'll get worse! So I had to ... have to (!) ... do something!

Anyway, the poor mans test showed that something is most certainly not right, and although I'm not a doctor, (I was a nurse before my ME became severe) I am fairly certain that POTS is an issue for me, though whether anything else is going on I have no idea.

Divider Bar Image

So, last week, I finally managed to get a phonecall from my doctor, ironically for something small I needed a consult for. She 'can't' do home visits, and I can't get to the surgery unless it's so urgent there's no other choice, so for me a phonecall is about as good as it gets. (And yes, I've tried other doctors - she's the best of the ones I've tried. She does at least seem to accept I am genuinely ill ... but there are constraints on her from the surgery to not do home visits unless the patient is terminally ill with cancer, basically.)

I didnt really tell her anything new as such, other than the tilt table results, since i gave her an up to date written list of my symptoms very recently - but she must not have read it well enough, because she seemed totally surprised when I told her about the cardiac symptoms I've been having, and the fact that I have now been having severe gynae issues (bleeding almost constantly) for around 3 years now. I guess she just presumed that had cleared up since I haven't talked to her about it in like 2 years. (Funny that, how when you don't see a patient, you don't know what's going on in their lives. Smilie pulling tongues. Image copyrighted to Camilla Erikson)

Last time we talked about it I had a gynae scan & because of the risk of endometriosis etc (I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome - PCOS), these are meant to be done at regular intervals, so she insisted on a scan as soon as it could be ordered, & a specialist consult to see if we can get things under control. So, that's appointment number one that I will have to go to in the near future.

Divider Bar Image

She seemed very worried indeed about the blood pressure/tachycardia issues, and the results of the tilt table test. (I'm still seeing irony here, since I've told her about tachycardias/palpitations on at least 2 occasions before, sigh. It's frustrating to feel like I have to figure out my own health problems because no-one is doing it for me ... but I guess that's life for so many ... too many ... people with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis in the UK right now.)

Picture of hearts by Andrea Smith. View her flickr photostream.
So, she's referred me to a cardiologist - massive surprise as that means she's actually taking me seriously - a novelty in my experience!! She's going to try to get me set up for a constant cardiac monitoring (I presume for 24 hours) at home, too, so that I'll have the information already available when i see said cardiologist, which will mean less possibility of any hospital stay, even as a day patient. I really hope she does get that set up as it'll take a bit of the stress out of this for me.

So - that's appointment number two that I have no choice but to attend in the near future. Honestly, I'm so stressed about having to go out ... and the possibility of not being able to do everything in just one visit, too! I know how much my recent dental visit took out of me ... I'm still not back to where I was before it, now, months later!! I'm so scared of what result these visits could have on my overall health and disability - but they're unavoidable because logically thinking, the results of ignoring these problems could be just the same, or worse, for my health. These new appointments will inevitably not be as well-organised as my dentist appointment was, either, probably meaning much waiting in hospital waiting rooms, sitting up (horrible in and of itself), and of course there'll be all the stress of trying to introduce a new doctor to the medical mammoth that is ME. And even more worrying is the inevitable crash afterwards, and even the possibility of a full on relapse from so much activity and stress at a time when I can already barely even make it to the bathroom 2-3 times a day!

Of course there are also worries about the results of the tests, but I've been living with bad health for so long, that somehow doesn't seem quite so scary. Funny, I'm more worried about my ME getting worse than I am of a potentially serious cardiac disorder, for instance. Says a lot about what ME has been like for me, really, doesn't it! Smilie Sighing. Image copyrighted to Camilla Erikson

Divider Bar Image

As the first step in seeing what's going on in my body right now, my Dr sent one of the practice nurses here to take copious amounts of blood from me this week, to send off for various tests. The main thing she was testing for was vitamin D deficiency. (again this was something which I was concerned about, researched, and then talked to her about last week) I've been concerned for a while that I might have a severe vit D deficiency due to being housebound for 8 years, & rarely even seeing the sun. I have a lot of symptoms of it, and it can lead to some quite serious issues, particularly with your bones (Osteomalacia) which could explain some odd symptoms I'm having, and some of my pain and muscle fatigue in general. It seems insane to me that doctors would not routinely think to check for this deficiency in patients they know are bedbound, considering the serious affects of long term deficiency - but there we are!! I would never have thought to look for it unless I'd researched the symptoms I was having and tracked it back to it possibly being osteomalacia. Or then, perhaps it's only ME patients with whom they are so lax? Who knows?!?

The tests came back a few days later, and yup, I'm quite severely vitamin D deficient. (It's worrying but it also gives me some hope for the future (though hope is kind of scary in this instance - there's so much at stake if these things don't make any real difference), that actually this is something treatable which we can hopefully reverse to some extent and so reduce my overall symptoms & severity!! I haven't had something like that to really hope for in a long time.

Sun in a Jar! Vitamin D Capsules - Image by essgee51, view their Flickr profile here!
The doctor wants to refer me to a specialist about the vitamin d deficiency, too, and get a scan done to check my bones ... but she's willing to wait on that until the other 2 more urgent things are done, so I don't have to take on any more all at the same time, thank god!! In the meantime, she's going to prescribe vitamin D - she's trying to figure out how much I'll need. (I was already on basic grocery store supplements so she needs to work out how that changes the amount I will need, shown by my blood results) I might well need it in injection form, but she might also start me on oral treatment to see how I go on that, and if it doesn't work well enough, bump me up onto the injections. I should find out over the next few days how she's gonna go with that.

So, that's where I'm up to right now. Waiting for a stack load of appointments and wondering how the heck I'm going to deal with it all ... not to mention trying to get together a good lot of information for the cardiologist since he may never have dealt with someone with severe ME before! (Or worse, may not 'believe' in ME as a physical illness!!) I want to be prepared but I'm half killing myself trying to read and decide what they need to see, etc. Fun.

Honestly, I feel like over the last year or so of getting more involved in the ME 'world', all I've been learning is how little I really know about ME, (even though I'm aware I know more than a lot of people who have only been given the CFS diagnosis when they really have ME, and have learnt so much just through living it for 15 years!) and how much more the UK health system COULD have been helping me, in very real ways, were they not so focused on treating it as all in my mind, and instead were using international research which proves otherwise. I feel so angry ... and so scared. I feel that had I known what I am starting to know now, 15 years ago, it would never have come to this ... completely bedbound and needing to see a cardiologist! What would have happened if I hadn't done the research and discovered that my symptoms fit with Osteomalacia and asked the dr to test for vitamin d deficiency? (Lynn Gilderdale, for example, suffered many broken bones because of this very issue, including a broken back!!) If I hadn't got so desperate and started reading more, and fighting harder, what would be happening to me now things have got so bad? What has already happened that should not have had to?? How dangerous could that be for me?!!? I feel so alone with it all. I wish I had a doctor to do the research FOR me, because I'm really struggling to find out everything I need to know - because I don't have anyone I can trust to do that for me. I understand now why some people end up suing - something I would never have even considered before, for many different reasons.

A friend, Dominique, is really inspiring me to learn to live better within my 'energy envelope' and not to push myself so hard. She's doing it tough learning to do that, and I find it really inspiring. (I doubt she realises that!) I hope I have the guts to do the same, but I'm finding it honestly a rather terrifying prospect. Kudos to her!


Divider image of daisies / flowers.


Susannah's Signature
I'd love to hear your reply and I know it'll be valued by other readers too! I always try to respond, please just be aware that it can take me some time to find the energy to do so as I've been particularly ill recently and struggling to get online. Thanks for reading! :)


Share/Bookmark