Choosing Happiness!

Ok so I couldn't for the life of me sleep today, my body was protesting too much... So I started counting up in my mind all the beautiful things in life that bring with them happiness, and it sort of turned into this.....



Frosted white windows and snowballs in winter
Freckles on noses all scrunched up in giggles
Wellington boots crunching crisp leaves of gold
These are a few of my favourite things

Dewdrops in meadows, magnificent forests
Friends who are soul mates, and carpets of bluebells
Brown paper packages tied up with string
These are a few of my favourite things.




Soft scents of jasmine and lilacs and roses
Great sprawling oak trees & tiny pink daisies
Freshly mown grass and the babbling of brooks
These are a few of my favourite things

Black and white photos and gorgeous high heels
Mountains and rivers and bees gently busy
Rainbows on waterfalls, shell covered beach
These are a few of my favourite things

Ice cream with pretzels, and faithful white westies
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favourite things

When the pain bites
Prejudice strikes
When I'm lonely or sad
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad!

We each have the power to choose how to view our lives, what to place the most importance on, whether we want to be happy or not.

It's more of a fight for some of us than others, perhaps, to choose happiness for our lives - but no matter how hard, it has more importance than almost anything we could do for ourselves and for those around us. I wonder how much better life could be for each of us if we chose to focus on the good (however small those things may be, especially for those of us living within four walls!) rather than the bad. How much better this world could be if more people could only learn to live that way.

Happiness doesn't always just happen. Sometimes we have to actively choose it, fight for it ... choose to see the beauty around us, and keep choosing it every single day, no matter how hard it sometimes gets!

"Dwell in Possibility..." Emily Dickinson

I'd love to hear your reply and I know it'll be valued by other readers too! I always try to respond, please just be aware that it can take me some time to find the energy to do so as I've been particularly ill recently and struggling to get online. Thanks for reading! :)

Choosing Happiness!

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Six Products I couldn't live without!

Hi!

I wanted to share with you guys the six products that have helped me cope with being ill, in pain, and bedbound the most recently - those which have made enough of a difference to my life that I would highly recommend them to other people in similar circumstances. It can be hard to find things that are actually worth the money you pay ... and there are SO many gimmicky products that tell you they'll somehow revolutionise your life, when all they really do is make you poorer. ;)


The Marpac SleepMate White Noise Machine

Bit of a bigger review here simply because I posted one on Amazon a while back so I can just copy/paste to save effort.

Oh my gosh, this is one of the best things I've ever owned!!! Some of my biggest problems right now are noise intolerance and insomnia. For years I've slept with a large fan on in the summer, and the white noise it makes lulls me to sleep, and it shuts out so much household noise that it helps me stay asleep. It also makes me more relaxed while I'm awake, and lessens the 'jump' effect when there's a sudden noise in the house. Of course in the winter the large fan isn't always an option, and I always struggle more with my sleep. (and miss it when I'm awake too!) This year my noise intolerance has been particularly bad, and so I started to search for an alternative to my fan.

After some research, I decided to try a white noise machine, and I got one this Christmas, part gift from my parents, part gift to myself. I had read that the machine sometimes takes a week or so to get used to, and also to find the settings that work best for each individual, and that was the case for me even though I'm so used to constant white noise. (There is quite a lot of difference in tone and volume on the different settings available.) I tried out different tones during waking hours for the first week, while I adjusted to it, but it soon faded into the background and I started using it at night after about 5 days.

It's a very simple design and I would imagine it could keep running for a long time without any problems, though of course I can't give you a personal account of that. No, it's not fancy - but to me that's a plus because to use internal fans rather than a recorded sound (which is what lots of other noise machines are) means that there is no 'loop' in the noise - it's a very even, consistent noise, much more so than an actual fan, actually.

I've had the unit on almost constantly for 3 and a half months now, and I absolutely love it! I'm honestly not sure I could live without one now!! It actually blocks out more noise than my large fan ever did. I don't find it irritating at all, which I have to admit I was initially concerned about.

I'd recommend this machine to anyone struggling with their sleep or with needing a quiet environment, and most definitely for anyone with any kind of noise intolerance! Honestly, I couldn't rate it higher than I do!!


Perskindol Active Gel

A fellow ME blogger, Living Life from a Bed, recommended this product to me, and I'm SO glad she did! I've used 4head for migraines for years - a cooling menthol based stick that you rub on your forehead which instantly cools the area and essentially blocks the pain receptors - but it hadn't really ever occurred to me to find a similar product for pain elsewhere in my body. Perskindol is pretty much exactly that. It's a gel containing various essential oils including menthol and wintergreen (it smells basically like root beer, lol)

I've pretty much instantly taken to this gel. It smells quite strong but not offensive like some of the products on the market like Deep Heat etc. (which are so strong they stink your room out for days, plus make your skin feel like it's burning - they're the reason I hadn't tried any of these sorts of products for my ME pain) Once you've applied the gel, it can take a few minutes to really kick in, but then the area gets cold and the pain is reduced. I've found it's particularly affective for my RSI and for my feet which have quite a bit of very painful oedema right now. I hate that it's going to cost me that bit of money each month, but I'm afraid it's just become an essential!!


The Book Seat

This product is so simple it's genius! I literally couldn't read books without it, because it's too painful, and my hands are too weak, to hold a book open. (Though I've only been able to cope with audiobooks recently because of neuro issues, I ultimately by far prefer reading the book myself and this is the only way I'm able to do so now.) It's perfect for using on a bed, too, because you can position it on any angle. It needs little explanation, really. Your book (it holds even a large hardback book) sits on it, the pages are propped open by a transparent plastic bar at the front of the 'seat' and it's full of polystyrene beads so it can be moulded into the perfect position. I LOVE my book seat! ;)

Wheat Bags
As they sound, these are bags filled with wheat, which can be heated in the microwave (or cooled in the freezer) and applied to areas of pain. They're much better than hot water bottles, both because they're much more convenient, and because they mould to your body. You can buy them in heaps of places nowadays - just search them on google. :) They come in all shapes and sizes, to best fit different areas of your body.


Cushtie Pillows

These are absolutely my most necessary pillows - I've had several of them on my bed for years now, and they're just outstanding for my needs. I have an astounding number of pillows on my bed. Body pillows supporting me right down my body, pillows for my head, pillows for my legs, and pillows supporting my arms. And without them I'm basically a gibbering wreck of pain.

Cushties are small pillows filled with tiny polystyrene beads, with a stretchy soft cover which allows them to be moulded to your body in a way that no other pillow can be. They have the perfect amount of beads in them, unlike every other similar pillow I've ever tried, which were all over-stuffed and so nowhere near as comfortable. They're so soft and just, well, perfect!! I use them to support my neck/head, and my arms, and often mould one into my back, too. I'm really touch-sensitive and have just found cushties to be the best, most gentle support for my body! I just counted and I'm a little embarrassed to say that I have 8 of them currently on my bed. Oops. :D


Magicool Spray

If you struggle with getting hot flushes, night sweats, or really, really overheated, magicool might just help you! It's a cooling spray, described by the company as 'your personal air conditioner in a can'. Again, this is something which the first time I tried it, I was convinced it could only be just a gimmick - but was quickly convinced otherwise! It doesn't need much explanation. You spray it either on your skin or in the air around you, and it provides an instant cooling affect which lasts quite some time. I have no idea how it works, I just know that it does. ;)

You can get a fragrance free version, so it's probably safe for the majority of ME/CFS patients, unless you have MCS or something similar.


I hope these recommendations might help you guys - I'd love to hear from you if you try any of these items, or already have, and what you think of them! :)

What other products have you found which help you deal with your illness and pain?

I'd love to hear your reply and I know it'll be valued by other readers too! I always try to respond, please just be aware that it can take me some time to find the energy to do so as I've been particularly ill recently and struggling to get online. Thanks for reading! :)

Six Products I couldn't live without!

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Coping with Night Sweats in ME - the Practicalities, Difficulties, & Shame.

One of the severe ME symptoms I find hard to discuss in any detail & yet causes me huge problems, is what I call 'Meltdowns' - Essentially, super sized night sweats - though I can get them any time of the day or night, awake or asleep. It's an insane, shame making machine of clammy grossness, & generally makes me feel like I'm lying in a swimming pool, not a bed - NOT cool, and terribly embarrassing!

There are many causes for night sweats, including the menopause, other hormonal problems, neurological illness such as MS and ME, & even some cancers. For those of us with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, it seems to be caused by a combination of our neurological problems with thermoregulation/temperature control, our immune dysfunction, and our endocrine/neuro-endocrine dysfunctions. You can read a lot more about ME symptoms on The Hummingbird's Foundation for ME - it's a very long list of ME symptoms so I suggest you use your browser search tool (ctrl F) to search for 'sweats'. There are several small sections covering it.

For me, 'meltdowns' come along or get worse with my body being especially exhausted, after overworking it, if I have adrenaline rushes, or tachycardias, and usually are associated with flashes of heat or chills, (& for some reason, for me, increased pain) and get worse with lack of sleep - ironically, they tend to make my insomnia worse because well, it's not nice to try to sleep in a wet bed, with your hair stuck to your head! It just keeps you from ever getting into the deeper stages of sleep, & ultimately can make me so wide awake that I haven't a hope of getting back to sleep.

Because of this, night sweats aren't purely a comfort issue - they (& the adrenaline rushes often behind them, because they're so exhausting) can easily cause a tidal wave of worsening symptoms. Despite that, none of my doctors have ever been interested in helping me find anything I can do to reduce or eliminate these symptoms. Goes back, yet again, to how once you have an ME or 'CFS'/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome diagnosis in the UK (& many other countries), you're essentially written off by the health service. There is very little of any substance doctors are actually allowed or encouraged to do for us.

My sweats sometimes get so bad that it basically doesn't matter what I do, I still wake up freezing cold in a bed that seems to have had a recent visit to the Sea. :p I'm not talking a little bit of a damp pillow - I'm saying my hair could literally be wrung out, and my bedsheets & especially pillows are absolutely drenched.


Awake or asleep, I can literally have sweat running down my face & drenching my hair like I've just run a marathon - & my head generally feels like it's been deposited in an oven! And as of yet, I haven't found anything that really stops it. It's all pretty awful physically, and added to that is the emotional factor. Sweating is in our society a bit of a taboo, especially if you're a woman ... and really, it doesn't exactly make you feel attractive. It can be really shameful and difficult to deal with ... makes you want to hide away in a hole & never come out - despite the fact that it's absolutely not our fault!! Just talking about this, I feel quite disgusting, and I'm struggling with finding the courage to actually publish this post!

I do have some coping mechanisms that help me copy, which are worth mentioning. (Note, I'm not going to link to any of the products I'm about to discuss, as I don't want it to seem like I'm advertising them. It's just a list of things that help me - that I want to share with you in case it can help someone else too!)

• I have waterproof pillow protectors under my pillowcases. Note - don't use, if you can help it, the plastic kind that just crinkle and rattle about under your head - they're super annoying & sure don't help with sleeping, plus they make you feel like a kid who wets the bed, you know? Instead, find the kind that are towelling on the outside and coated in a PU waterproofer on the reverse of the fabric. They're much softer & thinner - though in all honesty they cost more & don't tend to last quite as long as the other types.
• I also have a waterproof mattress protector, quilted so it doesnt rustle. Expensive, but worth it to protect my much more expensive mattress!!
• I try to remember to keep spare pillowcases in the room so they can be quickly changed if I need. I can't always lift my pillows to do that though, so it depends on whether my carer is here.
• Ok, now this is gross, and totally embarrassing - but a quick fix I sometimes use when the pillowcases can't be changed, or when I know I'm only going to sweat more anyway so it's not worth changing them till after I 'wake up' - I dry them with a hairdryer and then try to go back to sleep. When you're bedbound and dependent to any extent on a carer, you don't always have the perfect option of re-making your bed or even changing your pillowcase! Unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world. I also hate leaving tons of washing for my carer too, so I try not to have the sheets changed constantly.
• I believe you can actually buy sleepwear specially designed women going through the menopause who get night sweats, which helps wick the sweat away from you so you don't wake up cold - but I've never tried it as I have problems with wearing anything even vaguely heavy - causes too much pain. It's vest tops and shorts for me! Whatever you do though, don't wear silky type clothes if you're having night sweats because they won't absorb any moisture and you'll end up freezing!
• Always try to make sure you have water by the bed, and keep replacing your fluids. Easier said than done for a lot of us, I know, but important all the same.
• You can buy special cooling sheets now, made of Tencel fabric - I've never tried them though, too expensive. I always thought they'd be a really good idea though!
• You can, alternatively, buy a cooling insert for your pillow - the Chillow. Now these are amazing. They have a special gel in them that stays cool, which in turn helps you to cool down. You can even put them in the fridge before bed, if you like your pillow super cool. I find it helps reduce how much I sweat, and also just keeps my head a bit cooler when I am sweating. (It gets radiator hot!) Chillows are designed to stay cool for the first few hours of sleep, then slowly they get a little less cool - just as our bodies are designed to do. It doesn't quite work for me though because my sleeps are so much longer than for most people - so the coldness doesn't last quite long enough. However it helps to a larger extent, and it's well worth the money if you can afford one!! (It also helps when I have a migraine, by the way!)
• I always have a fan on in the bedroom to keep the air moving around the room. This won't work for everyone, probably depends on your specific reactions to room environment, but for me, I simply can't cope without one, even in the winter! Oddly, I sweat more in a cold room than a hot room - & it's even worse if the temperature is very changeable ... so I try to keep my best to keep the room a stable, warm temperature ... with the fan to cool me down. I suggest experimenting & seeing what works for you. :)
• I use a lot of talc for when I have milder sweats. It does nothing for the worse ones, of course.
• You should probably be careful how much caffeine you have, & spicy foods you eat; & how much alcohol you drink.
• I have heard that for some people, certain vitamins, such as vitamin D, can help reduce or even eliminate night sweats. I'm in a catch 22 here though, because I literally can't afford to buy vitamins every month ... and my doctor always seems reluctant to prescribe them as of course, it costs the NHS money.
• It's also worth checking your thyroid function. A lot of people with ME may have thyroid problems which can contribute to these symptoms.

Reader Question : Do you have any coping tactics which help with night sweats?

I'd love to hear your reply and I know it'll be valued by other readers too! I always try to respond, please just be aware that it can take me some time to find the energy to do so as I've been particularly ill recently and struggling to get online. Thanks for reading! :)

Coping with Night Sweats in ME - the Practicalities, Difficulties, & Shame.

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An Ode To Insomnia

Why is it that when we most need to sleep, when not sleeping is going to make us sicker, that that's when Insomnia rears it's ugly head??!!??

I don't have anywhere near as much of a problem with Insomnia now as I did in the first few years after my relapse ... when I would rarely be able to sleep more than a few hours a night, and would regularly be awake for days at a time. But still, now, on the days when sleeping is most vital, it's like my brain has a hissy fit and refuses to play ball - just sits down in the middle of the court, folds it's arms, and sulks with a vengeance.



I'm trying hard to rest and recover from my visit to the dentist this week, my first outing in over 8 months - something I'll try to talk about over the next few days as I'm able - but my body's on high alert and my mind just won't stop buzzing - little wonder considering how much adrenaline seems to be rushing around my system, and how high my pulse is right now! The physical stress of leaving my bed, never mind the house, and undergoing painful dental work has left my body in a pretty bad way. My pain levels have been fairly stable for the last few months, but now they've suddenly kicked off again with a vengeance, and let me tell you, lying awake in mind-numbing pain is not my idea of a good time!! My M.E. is totally kicking my butt!!

All in all, I feel pretty frustrated right now, & I'm dreading trying to sleep today! I've set some essential oils burning to try to calm myself down physically before settling down to sleep (well, my carer has), hopefully that will help. And thank God for my sleeping tablets, Zolpidem, which not only make me sleepy but also go some way towards dulling the pain for a few hours so I can get to sleep initially, which is often my biggest issue.

I found this poem a while ago, by Liza Rosenberg and I find myself thinking of it now when I'm hit by a bout of insomnia - it always makes me smile because it's so me. :) I thought I'd share it with you guys too. Please do check out
her site, she has some really awesome poetry posted there. :)


Ode to Insomnia

Bleary-eyed and body weak
The lack of sleep begins to wreak
Havoc on my tired soul
Exhaustion starts to take its toll

I try to rid my mind of thought
But sadly it is all for naught
For slumber doesn’t want to come
Despite the brain and body numb

So I sit and try to write
Listening to sounds of night
Feeling just a little punchy
Damn it! Now I’ve got the munchies…


Posted With Permission. :)

Reader Questions : What do you guys do to beat Insomnia? How do you cope with the emotional side of not sleeping & the increased symptoms that causes?

I'd love to hear your reply and I know it'll be valued by other readers too! I always try to respond, please just be aware that it can take me some time to find the energy to do so as I've been particularly ill recently and struggling to get online. Thanks for reading! :)

An Ode To Insomnia

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