Sunday, 31 July 2011

Just a short update!

It's been a while since my last blog, and though I'm struggling to get online for any length of time right now, I just wanted to post a short note letting you know I'm still alive, lol! I'm not going to do the whole apology for not blogging for ages thing, lol - but I am sorry that so many of you have left me such lovely comments and emails which I've yet to be able to reply to. I valued them so much - and don't give up on me - I absolutely will respond as soon as I'm able!!

There's been quite a lot going on here, which I can't go into as I'm making myself be brief, but needless to say, we've had social worker visits and things going on with my doctor, (positive, I think... maybe...) I will bring you guys up to date with whats going on there, I promise! Even if I have to get 'Anna' to write it for me (!), and finally getting some appointments through for various things, plus a few other issues - and I think it's the combination of all that, and a sudden intense burst of humidity here which has very effectively floored me, and kicked my pain, my blood pressure/pulse issues, temperature control problems, my light sensitivity, and various other problems into overdrive.

So honestly, it's been a miserable few weeks in some ways .... and at times sort of scary, if I'm totally honest. But I'm really really trying not to push myself, to just be gentle to myself and accept the infuriating new limitations, and to try more than ever before to pace with very firm limits,  (I'm not very good at it - so this is baby steps now) and not to overdo it. If I can learn to do this to even a fraction of the extent of Dominique or Laurel, I think it could improve my condition at least a little! It's just so darned hard to do, when I have so little ability anyway!

There's always humour and/or small happiness' to be found if you're willing to look, though, despite it all!! 'Anna' and I have found some happiness and even a little fun in beginning (slowly and painfully!) to plan out our garden in our minds (We want to start growing veggies ... and a bit more fruit than the small amount we currently grow, partly because it's just something we've wanted to do in a while, partly because it's so hard to live healthily on our small budget - and we're worried things might get only worse in that respect, considering both local and international decision making's right now!) We have to create the garden on pretty much no money, so we're finding creative ways to achieve what we want to do, for free or close to it. It really is kind of fun - even though I know I won't be able to personally bring any of it to be in reality.... and I can't tell you how annoying and frustrating it is to be so excited about a project that I often won't even be able to see thorough my window! This way though, I at least feel like I have put something of myself into the project. :) Sometimes you have to choose to be joyful, you know??

Heh, I'm not even sure if I'm making any sense at this point. My brain is pretty scattered at the moment on top of all the physical stuff.

Anyway, all in all, it's been very much a hard slog these last few weeks. I'm really hoping things will settle soon - but I'm concerned that with upcoming appointments, they'll only get worse. And so I guess I wait, like parched earth waiting for the rain, to see which way things turn as the weeks roll on. Will the outcome be rain, or more drought?? Well .... either way, I guess a little more of watching life pass me by can't be too bad at this point, right?! My internal body clock seems to have totally fried, anyway, leaving me with some minutes feeling like hours, some weeks feeling like days - time just passing me by.

photo by maliasvia PhotoRee

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I'd love to hear your reply and I know it'll be valued by other readers too! I always try to respond, please just be aware that it can take me some time to find the energy to do so as I've been particularly ill recently and struggling to get online. Thanks for reading! :)


1 comment:

  1. It is really great to read your latest news!

    I can totally relate to you when you say that your internal body clock seems to be totally fried. People would think that we would feel better in the warm weather, but that is not always the case, as it can really slow our body and brain down, even to a full stop.

    Hope your upcoming appointments go well for you.

    Will be thinking of you.

    Looking forward to your next update.